The Dog Ate My Presentation

…and other excuses for not giving a conference talk

Introduction

Over the next few months the good folks from BSides, NIDC and Serverless Days will be collaborating to run a series of workshops in Belfast for existing and aspiring conference speakers. I will be pitching in, and thought it might be fun to kick off with the top five reasons for avoiding a talk. And why they are balderdash.

I have nothing interesting to say

This is the most frequent reason given for not writing a talk. Usually what folks mean is “our project uses [tech] but I’m not an expert in [tech]”. The thing to remember is that most conferences do not restrict themselves to expert-level discussion of bleeding edge technologies.

There are many other valid topics for a conference talk. For example:

• You might have just completed your companies first ever project using a particular framework, methodology or architecture.
• You might have moved from language A to language B, and have some pointers for others looking to make that transition.
• Your company might have ‘lifted and shifted’ legacy applications from platform A to B, and you can recount the lessons learned.
• As a complete newbie, or grizzled veteran, you might have valuable insights on how the industry could treat its membership better.

You get the idea. Journey talks (as I like to call them) are just as valuable as pure technology talks. Often more so. Conference organisers are trying to offer a balanced agenda featuring many different flavours of talk. They need to cater for an eclectic audience made up of all levels of experience. Yours might be precisely the talk they are looking for.

It will be a disaster

Everyone is afraid of this. But after 25 years of attending conferences I’ve only seen it happen a handful of times.

There are three reasons why a talk goes wrong:

1. The presenter obviously neither prepared nor rehearsed.
2. The presentation was a blatant marketing pitch in disguise.
3. The talk was utterly unsuited for that particular event.

All of these are easy to avoid. A little bit of research and a chat with the organisers will prevent (3). Committing to do the work will prevent (1) and just say no to (2).

The most important thing to remember is the audience are on your side. They want to see you succeed, especially if they know this is your first event. As long as you are authentic, speaking honestly and presenting real ideas and experiences, then you will be fine.

I don’t have the time

OK, this one can be valid. But the thing about conferences is they happen every year. If this is the Nth year in a row where you’ve made this excuse, either you’re prevaricating or you need to think about your work-life balance.

It really helps to have a special folder for conference ideas. When inspiration strikes create a new presentation (in your tool of choice) and start with some section titles. Every so often come back and review what you’ve done, adding some points or pasting some code.

Before you know it you will have something resembling a conference talk. There will of course need to be a lot of rehearsal and redrafting, but if you have the ideas nailed down then there should be plenty of time to polish.

I have better things to do

A slight variation on the above, and again one that has some merit. But I would encourage you to think of all the advantages of conference speaking. It sharpens your communication skills, increases your exposure in the community and proves you can do more than push out features.

As the years roll on and (shock horror) you start thinking about roles other than development, an online portfolio of talks may prove to be a very valuable resource. Along with contributing to open source projects and organising meetups, conference speaking is a good way to broaden out your personal brand.

I’m scared

All I can say to this is, I completely understand. I’ve been speaking for a living for over 15 years and I still get nervous every time. Putting yourself in front of an audience is always stressful.

The good news is there are ways you can manage the stress. My top tips for neophyte speakers are:

• Rehearse to the point where you are utterly and completely familiar with the material. To the point of boredom. That way you can talk around any omissions or slip-ups caused by adrenaline.
• Have backup slides and sample code for everything. It’s awesome to speak extemporaneously, and to live code all your examples. But if Mr Murphy is in the house you need an option to fall back on.
• Find out as much about the venue and logistics as possible. Ideally attend the conference before you present there to get a feel for the vibe. Make friends with the organisers and ask questions in advance.
• Start small. Make your first talk at a local event where you will have friends and colleagues to support you. Then try for larger conferences as your confidence and expertise builds.

Conclusions

Hopefully this article has made you more and not less interested in giving a talk. It is tremendously rewarding, and I guarantee you will be better off for doing it. Feel free to get in touch if there’s anything I can do to assist.